Donkee House

Four Ways to Forgiveness

I was never a short story reader.  Aside from “Drown” by Junot Diaz, I have always tried to stay away from short bursts of commitment.  I’ve been in love with losing myself in epic sagas and multi-layered plots and their twists and turns.

The husband got “Four Ways to Forgiveness” by Ursula Le Guin for me for Christmas two years ago.  True to my nature, I’ve avoided this set of four short stories for two years until two weeks ago when I finally said to myself, “It’s Ursula, darn it.  Give her a chance!”  So I did…knowing full well that if I should dislike the stories in this set, then the pedestal on which I’ve put her will be just a bit shorter.  Now I didn’t ever want that to happen – I love everything else of hers too much, way too much.  She is the reason I love goats, after all.

“Four Ways to Forgiveness” was nothing short of short stories greatness.  The stories intertwined and gave me perspective from four very viewpoints.  In the end, I felt as if I had indeed read an entire Le Guin novel.  I understood the world she created, the culture, the history and its different castes of people.  All the depth and breadth of a full length novel, but instead, in four short stories.  All the love, betrayal, cultural and historical growth, personal learnings, triumphs and deeds and misdeeds – all so clear and poetic.  Her prose is never flowery and her words are never wasted.  Her works don’t need to be lengthy to be powerful and meaningful… you just need to be ready to travel in mind and spirit once you open the book.

2010 Already?

photo credit: Sukanto Debnath

I don’t know about anyone else, but 2009 pretty much flew by for me.  It seems like just last minute that I got used to typing/writing “09″.  I consider myself very lucky for having a wonderful year.  Now, there were some downs as well as ups, but the ups, I feel, outweighed the downs in 2009, for sure.  Maybe this calls for some sort of list?

Downs

• BPV (vertigo) – ugh…that sucked ass BIG time.  Still reeling a bit now (2.5 months later) – so still sucking ass little time.
• Besides vertigo, I got sick more often in 2009.  I washed my hands like crazy (they are so dry now…), but that didn’t seem to help.  Scratch that…I KNOW washing hands help, but perhaps I bathed in some germy, bacterial and viral concoction while sleepwalking and boy, I had or still have to fight the good fight every once in a while.
• Reality TV – I got sucked in and I tried to suck the husband in too because I’m quietly evil that way.  American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance and Hell’s Kitchen.  Adam Lambert gave us chills (in a good way), some dances made the husband cry and who doesn’t love a raving and cursing lunatic?
• We didn’t travel in 2009.  We did go to Florida and North Carolina to visit family, but we so wanted to go back to Aruba or somewhere AWAY.  It WILL happen in 2010.

Ups

• We closed and re-financed our first investment property.  We have a decent amount of equity (25-30%) and making a slight positive cash flow each month.  The re-financing was a harrowing and frustrating procedure, but we finally made it through.  If banks had necks, I would sneak up to one (just one to get my anger out) from behind and choke it with dental floss.
• We re-financed our primary residence – our lovely, but constantly chaotic 2 bedroom co-op.  Chaotic is a mild term, you should see what the heck is going on right now.  You should…but I can’t show you.  If I did, I would then have to sneak up behind you with dental floss.  I’m working on something big (big for me) and have been hard at it for a bit now.  When it’s time to make it public, I will make an announcement right here!  Stay tuned for that, my donkee friends!  That was called a TANGENT…
• We paid off our HUGE tax bill from 2007.  AMT (Alternative Minimum Tax) can kiss our flabby asses!
• I visited my folks in Long Island more often.  I seem a bit less like the ungrateful daughter/sister/aunt that I am.
• I’ve become more tolerant of babies and children in general.  This is a direct result of my nieces, nephew and friends’ lovely children.  They’re just so awesome…
• I’ve finally let go of my bitchy, grouchy and miserable persona courtesy of my previous job.  I hit my one year anniversary in my current job in late 2009 and yes, it did take about one year for me to get over the trauma of the previous torture box.  I’m not all sugar and spice…I can be a bitch, a grouch and wallow in general misery, but only on special qualified occasions and every second week of the month, not 24/7 like before.
• I wake up earlier.  Voluntarily, not dragged out of bed cursing the world, scratching its face and kicking its balls.  Weekdays now is anywhere from 6 – 6:15am.  Weekends anywhere from 7:30 – 10am.  All times are approximate and so totally different from years before.  Weekdays used to be the last possible minute to LATE, like 7-7:30am.  Weekends used to be 2-4pm.  I kid you guys not.  I’m just not as tired as I was before.  I’m much less stressed and much more happy (see above).  There is just SO much more fun stuff to do now!
• I can’t bring myself to buy $500 boots, $300 shoes and $600 coats anymore.  What’s the point?  I’d much rather see that cash in the bank.  It’s a shift in thinking and mindset.  Whereas those $500 boots used to make me feel great, the high was always short-lived and really never provided much substance.  I was never really SATISFIED in all cylinders.  Fashion show-off me would feel great, but financially savvy me would feel really guilty and all around practical me knew that it was all so unnecessary.  Now that I’m shunning those expensive add-ons and parking that cash where it belongs (in the bank or actually, 2009 was paying all those medical bills), everything feels RIGHT.  I don’t miss those damn boots and I really have more than enough of…everything.  Oh, and thrift stores ROCK!
• I’m reading books out of my decades long comfort zone.  I’ve always been a literary snob and have always gravitated toward heavier stuff from back in the days.  I limited myself to (although they still remain favorites because they taught me so much and provoked me into thinking rather than just being entertained) Dostoyevsky, Kundera, Hesse, Steinbeck, Hamsun, etc.  The husband finally broke through my veil of literary snobbiness and convinced me to read other genres and started me on high fantasy and sci-fi.  With a roll of my mocking eyes and a righteous snort, I embarked on my first high fantasy series and I’m telling you…it’s MAGIC!  No, seriously…MAGIC!  Thank you to the husband for opening my eyes (my eyesight was and probably is so limited and narrow, but being the husband, that’s part of your job…to keep introducing me to things), thank you to Ursula Le Guin, to George R.R. Martin, to Scott Lynch, to Robert Jordan (RIP) and to Patrick Rothfuss for sharing your worlds.
• Donkee House was born.  A fledgling blog…still trying to find its identity.  Even though it’s still so very young, it’s already evolving into a more personal log rather than fitting into a certain niche or two.  I hope you guys will continue to ride with me as this space continues to change, evolve and move forward!
• I quit smoking on 2.26.09.

So yeah, 2009 was a pretty good year, right?  2010 started out with a bang…even though I was off work this week, I still was working mighty hard on my new venture that will soon come to fruition.  As for what I was doing on the stroke of midnight on the dawn of this new decade…I was playing Guitar Hero…I was rocking it out, folks!

So…was 2009 a good one or a bad one for you?  With all my might, I sure as hell wish it was a good one or that the good moments really shined for you!

Dhalgren

Dhalgren must be one of those love-it or hate-it books.  Unfortunately, I’m on the second wagon.  Although I would not quite say reading through this 800+ pages of…pretentious rant…torturous, I would admit that I complained periodically to the husband on some late nights about how I had to force myself to read at least a bit everyday in order to finish it.

I found the mystery of Kid – amnesia, bisexuality and lost hours and days all very not mysterious.  I didn’t care whether he remembered his name or not.  His random memories of places, names and experiences didn’t touch me.  Was he schizophrenic, split personality, high?  I didn’t care.  I was on neutral gear pretty much the whole book through.

So much is packed into this book – by so much, I mean so many themes.  I get this book is about writing.  Although Kid is a “poet”, the process of writing in general – piecing words and sentences together, taking away and editing, inspirations, urges to write, being self critical, tone and subjects that move the writer and ultimately, the reader, etc. – is partly what Dhalgren touched upon.

There were also superficial race, social and economic points of discussion throughout.  The chasm between the haves and the have-nots was illustrated too transparently – case in point…the party Calvin threw for Kid in honor of Kid’s poetry book.

The scorpions are supposed to be a big, bad gang.  They make “runs” – which basically meant they go out and raid an abandoned store or take over some house by scaring away squatters with their beastly lights.  None of the scorpions actually felt scary and some of them were oversexed.  Big whoop – you can find a large amount of these loud, hormonal, obnoxious trying-to-be-bigger-and-scarier-than-they-really-are kids in any junior high or high school.

There is the church, religion and god…George the is-he-really-that-bad demi-god.  Good point in this book is George the demi-god never ASKED to be worshipped and idolized.  The media and people did it FOR him, or more appropriately, did it TO him.  Just think about all the ooohs and aaaahs, goo goo, gaa gaa and all those high pedestals we put celebrities on…even Obama.  Yes, we make up our heroes (most, some are actually real heroes) and some will say we made up our God(s) and religions to compensate for what we lack, but strive for (understanding?).

Prisms, lens, chains…what was their significance?  WERE they significant?  Another riddle.

All in all, I feel the prose and style were contrived and Delany tried too hard to be different, to have hidden meanings, to create a depth through circular confusion and pure mass.  It didn’t work for me.  Some of the best books I’ve ever read had all the depth, connection, layers, sensitivity, etc., but the words were also an elegant dance. Delany’s Dhalgren is discombobulated, distorted, an effort to read and pull through much like a clumsy tango.

Verdict?  Just 800+ pages of literary masturbation for Delany.

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao is the first novel from Junot Diaz.  If you’ve read Drown (Diaz’s debut with ten short stories), then you know you’re in for some darkly intense and gritty shit most likely having to do with transplantations of families from Dominican Republic to Jersey.  More often than not, his families are fucked up and the strength of his women put Atlas to shame.

His writing is sparse, haunting and beautiful.  He has mastered the art of evoking highly emotional reactions from his readers (me, at least) with just a few meager lines of lush prose.  Now THAT’s what I call a good ass read.

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao is all about discovery.  I tagged along on the journeys of Beli the mother, Lola the sister and Oscar the brother.  For a relatively short read, I got to know the characters so very well.  I knew what made them tick, what would piss them off, how they would react and why.  I feel as if I can have a conversation with any of them and would be able to fill in what they would say.  That’s how well Diaz established his family of characters.

Don’t expect this to be 100% dark and depressing.  It’s not.  I laughed out loud and grinned into the book on the F train many a times.  I might have looked like an idiot to some folks, but whenever Diaz made superhero and 80s references, I couldn’t help but chuckle.  I mean, Grod and Grundy dominican thugs…c’mon!  I love Grundy, by the way, he’s got to be one of my favorite characters in DC.  Remember that episode in The Justice League where Grundy saves Hawkgirl’s life, but then in a later episode, she had to use her nth metal mace to kill him to put him out of his misery?  Ugh…heartwrenching…

A lot of times, Diaz reminded me heavily of Gabriel Garcia Marquez (one of my all time favorite writers for his unlimited imagination) – does that give an idea on the fun factor?  I highly, highly, highly recommend The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao to anybody who reads.  That’s serious.  Read it or beware of the fuku.

Deepness in the Sky

A Deepness in the Sky is a prequel to A Fire Upon the Deep, although it was written after it.  You don’t need to have read one in order to read the other – one character (Pham Nuwen) ties the books together rather than a plotline.

Ok, so you might be wondering why I would read this after having had a very tepid reaction to A Fire Upon the Deep.  Well, the answer is really simple…I bought the two books together and in my heart of hearts, I was hoping that Vinge would get me this time.  I wanted him to drag me in and not let go.  I wanted him to entrall me, stab me in the guts, make my mind race and show me what an idiot I was for not seeing the light with A Fire Upon the Deep.  Alas, it was just not meant to be.

Although I did not have as tough a time as the other book, I was not invested and was not excited until the last two hundred or so pages.  For a book with almost eight hundred pages, that’s a lot of lost pages for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I liked the Spiders, especially Sherkaner Underhill.  Who wouldn’t love a mad scientist?  But it stopped there for me in terms of characters.  Even Pham was meh for me.

What I did like were the interstellar travel and commerce and other intelligent life ideas.  Other intelligent life with radically different genetic and cultural makeup.  But those are broad ideas that many others have written about.

I’m not knocking Vinge.  I know he’s greatly admired and well respected – my husband who is much more of a sci-fi reader than I am loved his books.  I think I gave it a fair go – just not my cup of tea.

A Fire Upon the Deep

I just finished A Fire Upon the Deep by Vernor Vinge last night.  I’m new to the science fiction world and quite possibly, because of my newbie-ness, I had somewhat of a hard time getting through the first quarter of the book.

It took me a while to understand the different zones of thought and space, the ultrawaves, who and/or what the Powers were and their motives.  I was relieved every time Vinge stayed with the characters for a while, letting me get to know them and decide whether I liked them or not…

Continue reading…

The Wheel of Time

Wall paper from Tor.com

Reading The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan, one can’t help but be swept up and live in the world that Jordan created.  I fought Trollocs alongside Two Rivers villagers, I wielded saidar along with Aes Sedai (I would be in the green Ajah, thank you very much), I danced the spears against the Shaido, I watched Thom Merillin perform storied legends and I accused my husband of being a Darkfriend when he refused to squeeze my feet… Continue reading…

The Castle in the Forest – Norman Mailer

Just finished “The Castle in the Forest” by Norman Mailer this morning on my way to work.  I bought this at the Strand along with 20 other books a while ago and finally got around to reading it.  This novel is a fictional account of Adolf Hitler, from childhood through adolescence, told through Dieter, a devil.  Notice I did not say THE devil, but A devil… Continue reading…