Image via The Dog Guide
Guilty pleasures – stuff you do that you won’t readily admit to due to impending embarrassment and ridicule, so you sneak it. You have some. You know it. I know it. I know you do because I know I do. I have a whole bunch. I want to lay them out – to act as a reality check so that list of guilty pleasures won’t grow so huge…won’t become the norm rather than the exception and implode upon itself. EGAD!
Reality TV – I am bucketing reality TV from TV in general because some shows or programs on TV are actually incredibly educational, inspirational and fun all at the same time. Planet Earth, anyone? That series is OUT OF THIS WORLD GOOD – visually, musically, acoustically, Sigourney Weaver does some wonderful narration and it’s absolutely educational! I even love the commercial for it – that music is so dramatic! Wait, does the commercial now count as a guilty pleasure? Ummm…I’m going to say no, because it’s for an educational series. This commercial to which I was addicted to, on the other hand…OOOkkkk now…anyway, back to reality TV…
I’m talking American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance and Hell’s Kitchen. They’re all pretty much fodder with So You Think You Can Dance toeing the line to acceptable fodder – after all, the husband who is vehemently anti-reality TV has gotten sucked in for two seasons in a row and he sometimes tears from some of the more moving performances. Heh.
These shows don’t really teach me much, but yet they are on my DVR list and I watch them pretty faithfully. Hell’s Kitchen will be the first to go – although all that cursing and unnecessary drama gives me momentary glee – the contestants are not interesting enough.
Disclosure – Anthony Bourdain and Andrew Zimmerman do not count – they are completely watchable and educational to boot. I want Bourdain’s eloquence, wit and honesty – Bourdain is Bourdain and that’s that. Moving on!
Spicy, spicy, hot, hot, HOT – When I was a young ‘un, the blood running through my veins was probably 10% blood and 90% hot sauce. Hot sauce, jalapenos, habaneros, pepper flakes, chili powder anything and everything spicy that would burn your mouth and render you numb and a red-faced slobbering, salivating blob – I’m down! Extra spicy everything and hot sauce on pizza, noodles, pasta, chicken, steak, fish, soup, ANYTHING! Crystal was my favorite, closely followed by anything that was spicy and garlicky.
After decades of abusing the spicy, my system has finally given me the big ole bird and basically no longer tolerates spicy of any ilk. I suffer and go through a roll of TP the next day while the husband shakes his head. Such is the price to pay. It all started when I “suffered” every other day or so and the husband pointed to the spicy. I said, “no fucking way!”. Then it got to the point where I experimented with a week of non-spicy (it was awful!) and my system calmed down and I didn’t pay the price that week. The realization dropped on me like a fat bird’s poop on freshly washed hair and my world fell apart!
Now, SOMETIMES, I can get away with it. If I do a mild spicy (mild for me) once on a weekend, my system might be fine with it. But nevertheless, I cheat only once in a rare while now and I never go as crazy spicy as I used to. Oy, the good ole days…
If you want to be my friend, do NOT put a bottle of Crystal in front of me, ever. Otherwise, my eyes will go wide and glaze over and I will enter the zombie spicy trance. Same for habanero stuffed olives. I am banned from the hot sauce aisle in the supermarket.
Bowls – I love bowls. We probably have too many bowls and don’t need more. But I want more. Any size or shape or material. Mixing bowls, cereal bowls, dessert bowls, square bowls, round bowls, pink bowls, blue bowls…you name it. My theory – they are the most versatile of all dishware. What can you NOT eat with a bowl? A bowl of cherries? Yep. A bowl of rice and beans? Sure thing. A bowl of leftover beef casserole? Ya. A bowl of rhubarb strawberry crumble? Yes, please. See what I mean?
Almond Joy & Whoppers- I don’t like chocolate at all. Not much of a sweet person, I’m definitely of the salty and crunchy ilk. I’ll take a bag of Doritos over a bar of chocolate or a BOWL of ice cream any day, every day. Everything changes with Almond Joy and Whoppers. I don’t even like coconut that much (except for coconut water) and I’m not a huge nut fan. But put coconut, almonds and chocolate together – magic happens. I grew up with Whoppers and the malt makes it all not too chocolate-y. Perhaps it’s a nostalgia thing. I have an Almond Joy in my bag right now.
Cats – I have always been a dog person. You should already know this if you read this blog! BUT…I will now admit that I do have a slight affinity for cats, but only cats with a dog personality. Say what? What the what? I like the independence of cats and their “I don’t give a fuck” attitude – they’re not needy and can take care of themselves, for the most part. However, their aloofness and attitude can sometimes give the person it owns an inferiority complex. That’s why I like doggie cats. Cats that are cats, but also gives a shit about you and wants to cuddle and play sometimes. If only I wasn’t so allergic…
McDonald’s Fries and Chicken McNuggets – I’ll take them morning, noon and night. I don’t know what’s in them nor do I really care when I’m chomping down in all that nasty goodness.
That’s all I have for now, lest this post should go on forever and through all eternity.
So…I know I’m not the only one…tell me one or two of your guilty pleasures and make me feel oh so not alone…